TOP TEN: Signs your shop is too cold

Summer’s over, unbelievably there’s already talk of snow, and there’s a sneaking suspicion your store may have had the heating off for just a bit too long…

10: You’re having to jump start the guitar amps

9: Customers have started crowding round the sunburst guitars for warmth

8: You’re having to burn even more Vintage guitar stock

7: Have found new use for nipples as a method of displaying packs of strings

6: Laugh a minute customers are saying “I may be some time” before entering shop

5: Sales of sheet music have doubled, but only for inuit throat singing songs

4: You finally caught the Saturday boy with his fingers in the till. Just his fingers.

3: Even old Eric Morecambe classic –  “It’s cold out. Well, put it away then.”  – has become irksome

2: Your guitar tech stopped sweating. For a full ten seconds.

1: Now everyone who comes in with a part-ex deal is shaking, not just the addicts.