TOP TEN: Startling facts about the MI market on Kepler 452b

The exciting discovery of the Earth-like planet Kepler 452b, has brought with it some interesting data about the state of the musical instrument market there.

10: Guitar Center’s debt is nearly twice as heavy there.

9: Atmosphere is so thin, it’s like being at Musikmesse

8: They are a billion years ahead of us and retailers are still moaning about the internet

7: Amazon already planning 1,000 light year express delivery service to it

6: At their NAMM, EVERYONE is dressed like Bootsy

5: Acoustic Theremins are what all the kids are playing these days

4: Finger pick market is non-existent. Lids for suckers – booming

3: Guess what? They’ve never heard of any of your endorsees either

2: An extra one billion years of technological advancement means electric guitar now has…a slightly different body shape

1: They are still so pissed at us for taking Henry Juszkiewicz from them