TOP TEN: Terrible drummer jokes

OK, you’ve probably heard most of these, and they’re not the most original. With apologies to drummers everywhere. But if you’re an actual drummer, let’s face it, you’re not going to remember are you?

10: How do you call a drummer?:  You can’t. They don’t pay their phone bill.

9: How do you get two drummers to play in time?: Shoot one.

8: How can you make a drummer slow down?: Put a sheet of music in front of him. 

7: How can you tell a drummer’s at the door?: The knocking speeds up.

6: How can you tell if a drummer has been doing the crossword?: All the squares have been coloured in.

5: How do guitar players get away with parking in disabled spaces?: They put drumsticks on the dash.

4: How do you get a drummer to stop biting his nails?: Tell him to put his shoes on.

3: What does a drummer use as a contraceptive?: His personality.

2: Why are band breaks limited to only 20 minutes?: So you don’t have to retrain the drummer.

1: Hear about the drummer who kept getting fired for having bad time?: Became so depressed that he threw himself behind a train.