Your buddy who is a music retailer calls to tell you she just won an incredible school contract to supply a well-endowed district with band and orchestral instruments. Are you happy for your colleague, or are you feeling sad because you were not awarded the contract for which you also applied? Human nature is human nature, so don’t feel bad if you had at least a small twinge in your stomach while you were asking, “Why didn’t I get the contract?”
Now swap the school contract for an investment your best buddy made which went up 100 percent in six months. Are you happy for your friend or are you asking, “Why didn’t I make this investment?”
The fear of missing out, “FOMO,” is an emotion that is experienced often. The feeling can arise regarding financial issues or any other part of your life.
The fear of missing out refers to the feeling or perception that others are more successful than you, others are having more fun than you, others are better than you. You get the point.
Psychologists tell us that FOMO is social anxiety stemming from the belief that others might be more successful while the person experiencing the anxiety is not. This feeling can show its ugly head in any part of your social and financial life. What’s the cure for FOMO? Instead of focusing on potential losses, focus on the gains of what you are already doing. “GROMO” is gratitude of missing out. Yes, maybe this school contract was not meant for you. Maybe the person who played every guitar in your shop and bought one elsewhere is not really the customer you want.
When you look at your life and you consider the amount of energy you place on the “hustle” – trying to push things through – it’s extraordinary. We seem to be in nonstop survival mode, which is really a symptom of financial stress. It’s not the lack of money; it’s the fear of missing out, the fear of survival. Unfortunately, the feelings of loss and scarcity and FOMO are baked into one’s relationship with money. The market goes down and people freak out. The market goes up, and many regret of not fully participating in the gain. The result is living in a state of ongoing dissonance, which is not good for any part of your life.
What’s the cure? Living with authenticity. Living life with gratitude. Living life in the present moment. What do you love? Who do you like being with?
What’s important to you about being human?
For those that have seen the movie “The Matrix,” you’ll recall that the Matrix represents a system of mind control that was all an illusion. The software that created the illusion was designed to create a mental prison. People were caged and didn’t know it.
The dissonant qualities of money like scarcity, fear, and greed can keep people trapped in their own financial matrix. Decisions made from a place of dissonance rarely resonate with one’s heart. It’s of our own doing when the mind keeps us separated from our authentic self. Since you created it, you can set yourself free.
How to break free and return to a place of authenticity, peace, and harmony? How can we find peace? The breath is an entry point. Every great religion, throughout time, has taught the wonders of living breath awareness.
Because our relationship with money can be filled with shame and highly charged emotions, it’s difficult to talk to others about it. Money provides the perfect petri dish for the “Financial Matrix” to take form. It’s easy to become trapped in the financial mental jail of our creation.
Turn up the volume on your harmony rather than your dissonance. Recognize that life is not a zero-sum game. The economic theory where the gains of one party are always balanced by the losses of another does not apply to life. Zero-sum game theory fuels FOMO. What’s the cure? GROMO. The gratitude of missing out. This wasn’t a typo. It’s natural to ask why would one be grateful for missing out? With the luxury of time for self-reflection, look at your own experience. Think about something that you really wanted at the time that didn’t happen. First, disappointment sets in, which is natural, but as life unfolds – which it always does – something even better comes along. Upon reflection, you realize that “something number two” worked out even better than the “something number one” you had wanted so badly. Everyone has had this experience.
Gratitude for others is the fastest way to receive.
Musical instruments are a lot like financial instruments. They both need frequent tune-ups. Tune up to gratitude. Try it for one day.
Jaimie Blackman – a former music educator & retailer – is co-founder of BH Wealth Management. The organization offers 401(k), insurance, and succession planning services. Download your complimentary copy of End Your War With Money at www.bhwealth.com/moneycapsules. Registered Representative, First Allied Securities, Inc. Member FINRA/SIPC
