The Score is Not the Music

Often when Angela cuts my hair, we get into a personal discussion.

As we were strolling down memory lane during my last cut, she talked about her first and last music teacher: “I was about 8 years old. I really loved music. I still do. For a while, I thought I wanted to be a professional musician like my dad. The problem I had was my piano teacher. I wanted to re-create the melodies I heard on the radio, or in my head. My teacher wanted to limit my playing to what was on the written page. Her only interest was reading music and learning music theory. She was not interested in allowing me to have fun. She eventually told my mom that she was wasting her money giving me piano lessons because my practice was incorrect and that I would never learn how to read music.”

This is a story I’ve come to hear repeated dozens of times. No doubt, this story also rings a bell to our readers. When I was a professional music educator, the parents seemed to always be obsessed with reading music. They would say, “Yeah Johnny can sit with the guitar strumming and singing, and appears to be having a great time, but he doesn’t seem to ‘read’ music.”

From my perspective, I always had my students catch the music bug first by exploring the aesthetic qualities of music through performance and listening, before getting too far into music reading and theory. I wanted to make sure there was time for “playing with music” before the serious head stuff. I’m not saying that to be well-rounded musically, reading music is unimportant. I’m suggesting that enforcing rigid rules about music reading at the cost of turning the student away from music, is never optimal.

So when Angela asked me what was her music teacher thinking, trying to stifle her music bliss, I said she was afraid of unleashing your creativity. After all, there are some teachers who find it scary to encourage music spontaneity, because teachers like being in control. The result is losing yet another music maker at the hands of outdated methods that never were successful.

Thanks to the financial tech companies who have cleverly figured out a way to automate a mostly generic financial plan, which places the data center stage, we continue to lose the war against financial literacy. Like Angela’s piano teacher who was hung up on reading music before making music, some advisors believe they should first focus on the financial numbers before getting to know what matters most to the client.

I tried a data-first approach 20 years ago and it didn’t work. I discovered that clients cared less about “the financial plan” and more about sharing what was most important to them. The evidence was simple. As clients gazed over the plan during the meeting, questions were few, and their eyes focused squarely on the exit door. In the end, this plan was not the client’s plan. It was the financial advisor’s plan. The beautiful printed 50 color pages would be tossed in the client’s drawer, and rarely reviewed.

When it comes to financial planning, I am more aligned with the process of Financial Life Planning. George Kinder, recognized as the father of financial LIFE planning begins the conversation with three questions:

Question 1: I want you to imagine that you are financially secure and that you have enough money to take care of your needs, now and in the future. The question is, how would you live your life? Don’t hold back your dreams.

Question 2: This time, you visit your doctor who tells you that you have five to 10 years left to live. The good part is that you won’t ever feel sick. The bad news is that you will have no notice of the moment of your death. What will you do in the time you have remaining to live? Will you change your life, and how will you do it?

Question 3: This time, your doctor shocks you with the news that you have only one day left to live. Notice what feelings arise as you confront your very real mortality. Ask yourself: What dreams will be left unfulfilled? What do I wish I had finished or had been? What do I wish I had done? Did I miss anything?

With this deep quality of understanding, the financial life planning advisor asks… What are we waiting for?

Don’t be obsessed with the numbers before personal values are shared with your advisor. It’s important to remember that, just as the score is not the music, the financial plan is not your life. A harmonized life is your financial bliss.

Jaimie Blackman – a former music educator & retailer – is co-founder of BH Wealth Management. The organization offers 401(k), insurance, and succession planning services. Download your complimentary copy of End Your War With Money at bhwealth.com/moneycapsules Registered Representative, First Allied Securities, Inc. Member FINRA/SIPC