A top secret mole has revealed to us a list of scrapped brand expansion proposals from a Gibson Brands meeting…
10: The Les Pool – sold maple neck comes with extendable truss rod cue with chalkable tip
9: The Bear Grylls Explorer – officially approved by the UK’s premier Etonian forest tramp, chunk out some riffs while you’re making use of the many added extra survival tools, including removable snake gutting tremolo
8: The 24-string. (Note to design department – ignore all input from that marketing guy we hired from Gillette)
7: Plastic. Let’s just make it all out of plastic. Enough of those fricking Feds already.
6: The Les Paul Senior – large print on the dials, wheelchair friendly, waterproof and loud, it’s gonna have to be really loud.
5: Firebird X – LOL. Nice try Mr Comedian. We’re here to work.
4: The Rickroller – no matter what you play, it comes out as Rick Astley. (Idiots! Why wouldn’t anyone want this?)
3: The kids love Potter. Anything with Harry Potter. Has anyone trademarked “Exploriamus”?.
2: Gibson SG. SG for Shot Gun. I mean who doesn’t like shooting stuff? Get on the phone to Ted Nugent about endorsement.
1: What if it was edible? 3D printing, that’s big. Can it be done with bacon?
